To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is well for them to remain unmarried as I am. But if they are not practising self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame with passion. (1Corinthians 7:8-9)

Self-control - egkrateia - is one of the fruits of the spirit. For Paul the self - our true self - is an expression of God.

As authentic expressions of God we must be free. To be otherwise is entirely un-Godlike.

How are we to honor and preserve the freedom that is innate to fulfilling God's intention?

In verse 6:12 Paul sets out the paradox of freedom: that in everything being possible we risk domination by our desires or the desires of others.

The self-assertion of others seeks to limit or remove our freedom. Our own assertion of self confuses control of others for self-control.

Self-indulgence is an even greater threat. Here we can make idols of our desire, giving over to base objects the loyalty and love we should give only to God.

It is, according to Paul, better to accept some self-limitations than to lose the true self to over-indulgence in delusional passions.